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In Which I Succeed in my Little Advertised Quest to Find Tanzania's Ugliest Kanga

It has silly fish on a terrible mustard yellow background.  I actually saw this in Mwanza some time ago, but it was only at a wholesale shop that would not let me buy just the one and I didn't love the hideousness enough to buy 10.  But now it is mine and it will be a hideous skirt, and I will wear it.  Next up, the quest to find the kanga which is of mediocrity the epitome.   After I find it I will realize that mediocrity, by its nature, doesn't really epitomize, and the kanga will vanish in a puff of logic.  

Usigeuke miba ukanichoma, which might mean, may you not turn
away from the thorns you stabbed me with.  Cuacrossamerica, help!  Translate!  

Edited to add: second and third opinions on the kanga suggest it should be translated "Don't turn away Thorn, you have stabbed me" or "you shouldn't turn from every thorn that stabs you."  These kanga sayings are written in Ye Olde Kiswahili and are difficult for us non-native speakers to figure out.

Edited again to add: The second opinion is right, thorn has to be vocative, otherwise it would be usigeukia.  (I think).  You know what would be helpful here?  Punctuation.  

Edited once more to include an image of a Bolivian textile, helpfully emailed to me to demonstrate sublime ugliness.  I find it more boring than eyecatchingly ugly, but I know you, my darling readers, are well versed in aesthetics and well be able to educate me on such ugliness.


4 comments:

  1. Might make a good wall handing for an aquarium? Reminds me of Middle Age woodcuts.

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  2. Or possibly a seafood restaurant.

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  3. Is this really the ugliest kanga in Tanzania? Really? It saddens me to think that a country so richly endowed with artistic and poetic feeling could produce nothing uglier than this. Even Bolivia is able to produce textiles much uglier than this and Bolivia is a country with no soul, no spark, no feeling for the higher reaches of ugliness.

    Regarding the translation of the Kiswahili phrase, I consulted with Mr. Language Person on the proper translation. (Actually, "consulted with" is probably not the right phrase. I re-read all of the old Mr. Language Person columns. Actually, "re-read" is probably not the right description here. I brought these old writings up in the Theater of the Mind - that is, my memory - in search of inspiration). Using this inspiration, I would like to point out that the two successive imminent gerunds followed by an absolute ablative infinitive mean that the phrase should be translated as:

    Avoid the hook to avoid being caught

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  4. As always, I must defer to someone who solved a problem by thinking about Mr. Language Person.

    I humbly request that you provide images demonstrating the ugliness of Bolivian textiles.

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